also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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