They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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