love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
