I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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