what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Girls should come with a carfax report
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
