Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
