no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
