we're blogging at a bar
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize