At least make sure they are 18
Why
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
