I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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