i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
