just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
