I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
