have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
