I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
