but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
