Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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