I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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