a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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