return my video game
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
