you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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