just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
as a side note pls kill me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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