They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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