Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
