but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
