you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
