I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
