we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
