Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
