On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
