Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
