love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
