She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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