Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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