Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
