Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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