we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
