I could have mohawked her pubes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
