this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
