at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
