I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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