Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
