yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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