I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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