Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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