Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
