if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
