sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think my mom watched the whole time
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
