I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
