The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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