Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
